Computer Professionals Enjoy Fast Food, Y2K Blamed


Computer Professionals Enjoy Fast Food, Y2K Blamed

Recent surveys by the Allied Computer Industry Association reveal that 87% of all computer professionals enjoy fast food. Experts also warned that fast food consumption by certain programmers is on a “rapid-fire increase.” An independent research report from the first quarter of 1999 entitled “Fast Food Mindlessly Gobbled by Computer Professionals” shows a sharp increase in fast food consumption by programmers in the Pacific Northwest, specifically a 57% spike in drive-through bacon cheeseburger orders from major food chains in Seattle. Fourth quarter 1998 reports indicated that only 58% of computer professionals enjoyed fast food. Authorities recently polled feel that the Y2K problem has forced programmers into compromising lunch scenarios whereby there is no longer any time for quality dining.

“Fear of Y2K disaster has made every minute valuable,” says Rajeev Thompson, a software developer with Digaree Consulting. “Yes, it is true, I have been to McDonalds many many times this week alone. There is simply no free time any more for dining on such healthy delicacies as Tandoori Chicken, which takes hours to prepare correctly. I usually opt for McNuggets or Chicken Fingers, which in comparison are quite bland, but what I lose in the taste department, I make up for in time. Overall, I blame Y2K. It has been a bitter herb for myself and my colleagues.”

Conversely, Cecelia Rackweiner, a network administrator from a sardine plant in Kansas said that her interest in fast food has nothing to do with Y2K. “I just love French fries.” She said, “and they are cheap and yummy. I ate them lots when I was an air traffic controller too, long before I ever got into writing software. I also know that President Bill and Willy Gates both enjoy quick complex carbohydrates like cheese fries and will grab a tasty lunch at Burger King whenever they need a lift. And neither one of these people has ANYTHING to do with Y2K.” So there you have it.

It is still unknown whether the increase in fast food consumption has spread to other industries. Experts have reportedly looked into shoe sales and mud wrestling for clues and similarities to the exploding computer arena problem. So far, the “virus” seems contained.

“There seems to be a striking correlation between stress on the job and a craving for fast food,” says Hugh Harte, statistician for the Computer Colonic Institute in Massachusetts. “When you get a bit stressed, especially when failing to find some crummy date field buried in 2 million lines of COBOL, eating becomes a knee jerk reaction instead of an analytical nutritional exercise. You just robotically go for a quick burger, hot dog or fries. The Fast Food People are cashing in on this situation as Y2k pushes the stress factor out the roof, and it is not getting any better as the end of the year looms ahead.”

Did somebody say, “What the heck is going on here?”

Ronald McDonald could not be reached for comment.

Steve Eddington


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